A “big domino” is the one action you can take that makes everything else happen.

Just like stacking dominos… you push down the first one and the rest fall.

In your agency, there is a big domino, and you just have to find it.  The thing is, it’s not always a business strategy. Sometimes, like it was for me, it’s something else entirely.

It has been 5 YEARS since I chose to change my relationship with alcohol and quit drinking.

On the 1 year anniversary, I made this post that I’d like to share with you now.  I hope it helps you find your own big domino, no matter what it is.  

With lots of love,

Mike

I've probably written this post over a thousand times in my mind, but here I go this time, for real. 

I'm super proud to tell you that yesterday I celebrated one year of sobriety. One year since I quit drinking. 

For those that have spent any amount of time with me in the last 20 years know that drinking has been an integral part of everything I have done.  To end something that was such a deep part of my identity (and sometimes still feels like it is) was no small feat.

Lots of people in this last year have asked me why I stopped. In most cases, I just shrugged it off, saying I needed a break but it was more than that.  It wasn't a “hitting rock bottom” situation like stories you hear about… but things had gradually gotten out of hand. 

I remember a doctor's visit a few years back. I was pre-diabetic. Overweight. She knew my health was suffering. She asked me at what point in the day I began thinking about drinking. I figured people with drinking problems were people who drank every day and started before lunch. This was not me, I was safe.

So my pattern felt normal to me and most people in my circle would agree. 

But, happy hours that were once a week turned into daily. 4:30 turned into 1:30. 2 beers turned into more than I'm ready to detail here. Safe to say it was all in the name of fun, being social, growing my business, brainstorming, blowing off steam, celebrating a win or numbing a loss. 

In time, I had to drink more and more to catch the same buzz I was seeking. That's normal for most, and, I wore this tolerance like a badge of honor. 

Then one day last July, sitting on a bar stool after a Centurions meeting I couldn't get drunk. No matter how much I drank. It wasn't working. I felt overweight, ugly, tired, alone and sad. And that's when I decided I don't want this anymore. 

It still took me a few more weeks to work up the courage to stop. 

Sometimes people are put into your life for a reason. Two have been key to my success. One is Annie Grace who I met through Russell's Mastermind.  She wrote a book about controlling alcohol called This Naked Mind. The other is Noah Hammond Tyrell who I also met because of Russell. I've been working with him as a coach. In the process he has helped me discover my intuition and helped me to hear the thoughts going on in my own mind. 

Equipped with a fresh frame of mind and a new awareness, something felt different about this time. 

This wasn't going to be a drinking hiatus like in the past. That somehow fit in-between my birthday, your birthday, major/minor holidays, vacations, good days at work, bad days at work, work trips, business meetings, friends visiting, fundraisers, weddings and Tuesdays.  I needed to relearn how to do all these things without alcohol. 

The biggest misconception about stopping drinking is that it is a single decision made once.  But, in this last year, I've had to choose sobriety over and over again. It feels like I've made the decision at least a million times.  

I felt a lot of freedom in the first six months of not drinking. Like a weight had been lifted. (Some in the recovery community call this the pink cloud.) I especially felt this in situations where people were drinking around me. Some say they can't be around drinkers when seeking sobriety. For me it felt liberating. I never realized the burden that I carried during my drinking. Like many other things I was numb to it. What I'm talking about is the burden of how I was going to drive home, convincing myself that I was ok, the burden of feeling sick as I sobered up, the burden of my words or behavior, the burden of coming up with a creative story as to why I was not home when I should be, the burden of hanging around people and situations that were no longer serving me and so many other things. 

I can't say that the feeling of liberation lasted. In the beginning the pride in abstaining was enough. But as the excitement around it faded I was left with the version of me that I had been numbing and escaping for so long. This is both awesome and incredibly scary at the same time. Drinking used to be my answer to the highest highs and the lowest lows. This is when my desire to drink again has been strongest. If there is one thing I've had to aspire to be grateful for it is the opportunity to face the lowest lows as my true self, under my own power without alcohol. 

I don't know if this sounds dramatic to you.  Parts of me read what I just wrote and I think… Man, others don't want to hear about my struggle because of what I have managed to achieve.  I've got it good. Don't complain. Others have it harder. Why am I making such a deal of this?

Maybe it's because from the outside I think everyone else has it together and doesn't have deep dark spots and I must somehow be alone. But it's not true. Everyone has a pit, everyone suffers but few look into the pit and deal with it. We all have these moments and for me, at least, drinking delayed me dealing with the parts of my life that are not the way I want. I spent a lot of time avoiding it, venting and obliterating myself on a barstool where I couldn't actually act on it. 

Even though there is still a lot of work to be done, I have accomplished so much in this last year. 

There are the major milestones… I lost 45 lbs (because I stopped drinking long enough to find the keto diet) while not going to the gym even once. I read over 50 books.  I bought a new car. I built a new part of my business that is on track to reach 1 million in revenue on its own in the next few months and in the process directly helped over 600 entrepreneurs in their businesses and countless more indirectly.  

And then there are the smaller things… I've never driven my Jeep drunk, clothes that used to be my skinny clothing are too big now, I wear a belt (because I have to) and my belly doesn't uncomfortably rub against it as I walk or sit down, I don't wake up in the middle of the night thirsty, my kids can sip from my cup without asking what's in it first, Brenda likes me a lot more, I'm seeing more of the cool and funny things my kids are doing, I know who my friends are, I've explored new hobbies and rekindled old ones, I've explored spirituality where I previously outright rejected it, I haven't had a hangover in a year, cured chronic medical ailments (I'll spare you the details, TMI lol) and so many other things. 

I'm grateful for where I am today. I love the fact that I get to work on it more. 

I know what I'm doing is not for everyone. It's not the norm.  We live in a world where the person that's not drinking is the one with the drinking problem. So, I'm still figuring out how to navigate situations and friendships where I've changed the way I'm playing the game. This has been among my toughest challenges.  Thank you for being patient with me. 

Is abstaining from drinking a “forever” thing? This is something I've asked myself over and over again this last year. And I still don't know the answer.  All I know is that as long as my intuition guides me this way, it will be.  So, I will not be drinking with you today. 

During the last year I've been asked so many questions by people curious about what I'm doing. There are many people that have pulled me aside to dig deeper and ask questions only to reveal that this is something they hope for themselves too. 

I certainly didn't aim to be a tour guide on this journey but if that's something you feel comfortable receiving from me PLEASE reach out. 

Or, some might prefer to explore more on their own… Get Anne Grace's book (audio version is great too) and join her 30 day challenge at  alcoholexperiment.com. Also head over to stop drinking on Reddit (Reddit.com/r/stopdrinking) and see what's possible

Alright. That's what I've got. Thank you for reading this. And most of all, thank you for supporting me. 

To the stars, light and all between. I love you all. 

Cheers, 
Mike